The concept of relationship is complex. That’s because there are different circumstances, environment, different combinations of people, etc. Everyone is trying to figure out the formula that works best for them because, there isn’t any universal one. But one thing that is important and speaks same universal language as it affects human interactions and relationships, is emotional intelligence.
For clarity, emotional intelligence is a person’s ability to acquire and apply knowledge from their emotions and the emotions of others, in order to be more successful and lead a more fulfilling life.
In human interactions and relationships, emotional intelligence can matter more than IQ.
I read a book by Jeremy Kourdi, “100 great business ideas” where he extensively talked about emotional intelligence playing a key role in one’s success in life. Some of the highlights from that book, i’m going to add here.
Emotions are critical in determining one’s success outside other factors. In times of crisis, pressure, or even change, possessing EI is advantageous, as success is determined by recognizing, understanding and dealing with emotions. The five key areas where EI is very evident are;
. Knowing one’s emotions
. Managing emotions
. Motivating oneself
. Recognizing emotions in others
. Handling relationships.
In his book, he stated that the three big emotions are: Anger, anxiety, and sadness. If you can deal with those successfully every time, you have learnt to control and master your emotions.
Let’s take for instance, we may all feel anger or sad or anxious sometimes, but EI means recognizing that emotion at that particular time, understanding it, and managing (dealing with) it. It means knowing what to do with that emotion in order to achieve the best outcome. EI helps us to manage ourselves and influence positive outcomes in our daily human interactions and dealings.
The good thing is, It can be learnt. With constant practice and making a habit in some areas as I’m going to list below, and being intentional with it, we could achieve success with EI.
. Self awareness: Our moods run alongside our thoughts. When we think a certain way, we begin to feel that way and then these feelings lead to decisions and actions that invariably produces our results. But we rarely pay attention to how we feel. Our previous emotional experiences helps us to make better decisions and being self aware is very important. We should be able to read and understand our own feelings.
. Managing emotions: learning to manage our emotions (our feelings) especially the big three (anger, anxiety, sadness) always is essential.
. Motivating others: creating a supportive environment, being sensitive to issues of other individuals and providing the right approach to guide people in the right direction.
” The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart”.
. Showing empathy: Ability to correctly understand and adjust to emotions in others. But first, you have to identify your emotional state, be able to manage it, be able to read other people’s emotion and provide support in order to positively influence other people’s emotions. Showing empathy is the ability to feel what others are feeling like it were you. Being able to relate to other people’s issues and showing them affection. It doesn’t mean to sympathize or validate other people’s behavior, it is to see things from their perspective and feel what they would feel.
. Staying connected: This is like sharing “vibes”. The way you feel most times affects the people around you. Emotions are contagious. When you spend time with people, they either make you feel better or worse. So if you’re sending good vibes to your environment, people around you would contact it. And if it makes them feel good, they’d love to stay connected. This determines one’s ability in positively influencing other people’s emotions, (motivating others) and sustaining good relationships.
Showing empathy to others, your colleagues at work, your significant other, trying to manage an unruly child, is emotional intelligence. It allows us to connect with others and understand ourselves better. Which is essential for a happier life. Emotional intelligence is important to build and maintain healthy relationships.
A highly emotionally intelligent individual is conscious of his or her own emotional state. These people are also emotionally sensitive to other people in their environments. Which makes them a better partner, parent, leader, etc. we can be that someone who’s emotionally tuned to signals from within and outside today. Yes it can be honed!
“We can always become better, if we let ourselves”