Value is simply the importance, worth or ideals placed on something or someone. When something is valuable, it is said to be of high significance, treasured or appreciated.
What I am talking about here is, how much relevance one places on oneself. Let me re-phrase and ask rhetorically. How much do you value yourself? Invariably, your self-worth is revealed on how much value (importance, worth, love, appreciation) you place on yourself.
You see, we really can’t talk about Value without mentioning self–love. (I know…everyone’s talking about loving yourself, bla bla) but wait until you hear me out.
How would you treat yourself if you were to be someone else whom you really love dearly?
While pondering on that, let me throw some light on what self -love means.
Self–love is the regards one has for one’s own self. (Well-being and happiness). Its beyond pedicure and cucumber masks but having the power and responsibility to your own happiness. This helps one take on practices that reflect self-worth. Self-love and self-worth (value) go hand-in-hand.
Obviously, as seen here, if you don’t develop the courage to love yourself, you’re already de-valuing who you are. I call it de-valuing your personal currency.
” I am rare, and there is value in rarity; therefore, I am valuable. -Og Mandino.
Besides this, when you operate from a good place inwardly, even those around you will benefit too.
However, some people may have had certain experiences in life, or been through certain situations that may have shifted their ideals to feeling worthless and inadequate. This forms a lasting belief in themselves that they’re undeserved and undesirable. Therefore their self-worth, self-esteem and value has become severely affected.
No, it’s not the end of the world and trust me, you’ll be just fine. You only need to start taking on practices that’ll help you make better choices and become a better person. You need to begin to know where you channel your physical, emotional, mental (etc) energies to, in such a way that it brings you joy, build positive connections, nurture creativity, helps you appreciate yourself and gives you the desire to learn and grow.
Below I share with you, 5 super ways to start valuing yourself more. How you see yourself is crucial for your well-being.
1 Set healthy boundaries:
A lot of times, we allow ourselves to be taken advantage of. People have high expectations and demands from us yet give so little. You need to review certain relationships and set healthy boundaries. Maintain your integrity. Some people, especially the ones that drain every ounce of energy in us are meant to be on the other side of the wall. If you also need to let go of certain detrimental habits in order to become better, please do so and create space for what you truly deserve- happiness!!!
2 learn to say NO! :
This can be liberating. Sometimes, doing things you don’t want to do builds resentment. If you aren’t obligated to, learn to kindly say No and do what feels right for you. It helps build your self-esteem and allows people to value and respect you more.
Let me share a personal experience;
I once had a need for a certain milk for my kids. I had someone who sells that, (who’s kinda close to me) supply me as often as needed. But soon, I had other nutritional options since my kids didn’t really like the taste of that particular one and weren’t really consuming it. I then stopped asking for more, but this seller kept bringing me more despite the fact that I didn’t need them. More like
convincing forcing me to keep buying. (Ofcourse market has to sell) and I couldn’t stand my ground to say no for the fact that we were kinda close. I would eventually buy, but feel miserable afterwards. (I mean, I no longer have need for this thing!).
One day, I summoned courage to say… you know what, it’s my money and the truth is, I have no need for this anymore. My kids aren’t consuming it and you honestly need to stop the supplies! (Oh how so liberating! I finally did it). And I was totally happy with myself that day.
So even when you’re tempted to do certain things at the expense of your well-being, honor yourself and say no sometimes.
3 Build your self–confidence:
Tell yourself that you matter. Value exudes in the confidence that you have of yourself. It shows effortlessly. Visualize yourself as you want to be and present yourself as such. Affirm yourself. Think positive. Groom yourself. A confident person is optimistic. A confident person is willing to take risks. A confident person learns from past mistakes and grows from it.
The biggest factor in determining how far you go in life is often your self–confidence. You have to match your goals to the level of self-confidence that you have to see it through. It requires effort, repeated practices, celebrating your small wins. Etc. Building and exuding self-confidence encourages others to take you seriously too.
4 Be NOT a people–pleaser:
When I was a little child, I was told a story of how a man and his son were traveling to a place on a donkey. On their way, they met a stranger who rebuked the man because both him and his son were sitting on the donkey. He said they wanted to kill the donkey with their weight. So the man decided to climb down, so his son can ride alone as they travelled along.
Then came a second stranger who rebuked the son for letting his father walk while he rode comfortably on the donkey. He too decided to climb down and let his father ride on the donkey alone. And then again, a third stranger came along, cursing the father for riding on the donkey while his son trekked!
You see, you can’t please everyone. While you’re busy trying to, have you thought of what you yourself truly values? That’s what matters indeed.
5 Associate yourself with the right people:
The people you associate with, have a great impact on your view of life. You need to spend time with people who inspire you to be better either through their own example or because you want to be an inspiration/model to them. Look out for people whose values resonates with yours. Those are the ones that’ll help you grow and learn to value yourself more. If you want to keep friends, then make and keep ‘proper’ friends whose ideals match with yours. Spend time with people who make you smile, laugh and feel loved.
For the fact that you exist, you’re valuable. You just need to recognize it intrinsically. Our self-value influences our perceptions and so, it’s important to value yourself more, as your perception (in the way you understand and interpret and regard things) goes a long way to form a lasting impression/ideal/belief about your life. If your old beliefs/mindset/ideals, no longer serve you, it’s time to let them go.
As always, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
Don’t forget, sharing is always caring.