The world is complex. In our everyday life, we come across various people who exhibit different forms of behaviors. Whether in the workplace, our social environment or personal relationships. This forms of behaviors affect our lives directly or indirectly.
The subject of this post is centered on grandiose narcissism and superiority complex. Because it is rather disturbing and of toxic nature.
People with grandiose- narcissism -personality disorder, have exaggerated feelings of self–importance and superiority. They view themselves as better than others, take an egoistic and aggressive view of reality. To them, reality is what they say it is despite facts or any other opinion.They are always right in every aspect and can even make you question your sanity.
Superiority complex on the other hand is a pattern of behavior which expresses belief that one is superior. They have an overly high opinion of themselves such that they refuse to change even when they’re being clearly unreasonable.
You can see clearly here that both grandiose narcissism and superiority complex have one thing in common- the feeling of superiority. They exhibit egos and a tendency to belittle others in an attempt to validate their superiority.
Statistics have shown that this pattern of behaviors occur more in males than females and affect the young more than the old.
• They are controlling, blaming and intolerant of other views. They never take the blame. Rather, they shift the blame to others and refuse to be held accountable for their mistakes or bad behavior.
• They do not take criticism well and would often react with outbursts of rage or seeking revenge. Their inability to tolerate setbacks or criticism makes it difficult for these individuals to work co-operatively with others.
• They insist others see them as they wish to be seen. To them, your opinion does not matter and they may even shame you into feeling a certain way, just to force their views on you.
• They usually expect special treatments. In their delusioned world, they are superior and for that, must be treated so. For example, they would often jump queues for the fact that they feel ‘special’ and should be attended to regardless of others who may have been there before them. The world must revolve around them.
• They are emotionally unavailable and lack empathy for others. They don’t care how their behavior affects you or what you feel/think about them.
Here’s how you may feel around them:
• Vulnerable, paranoid or afraid. Like ‘tip-toeing’ about just so you don’t do something ‘wrong’ to tick them off.
• You may feel mocked, embarrassed, criticized or humiliated publicly or privately by them. They do so to impose their perspective on you.
• You may not be able to show your true personality or utilize your full potentials around them because they will constantly knock down your every effort in order to maintain their superiority.
• It is difficult to discuss your problems with such people because it will always end in arguments and fights. And they will punish you afterwards by physically abusing you or emotionally blackmailing you, or seizing your ‘benefits’, or giving you the silent treatment.
• They’ll seek to control you and if you refuse, you face consequences same as above. They always have to be in-charge and make you totally dependent on them so that they can force you to do as they wish.
• You may feel manipulated to think/feel the way they want you to. You may even question your sanity. They may lie about things that happened or did not happen to compel and cajole you to accept them as facts. And then you begin to question your memory.
• They constantly make you feel worthless. Whatever you do or say, your strengths, means absolutely nothing.
How to deal with people exhibiting this personality disorder:
They often do not consider themselves to have a problem and they don’t care about how their behavior affect others. My opinion? They have serious issues and are difficult to deal with.
You cannot change them or their behavior. You cannot control their thoughts or actions. You’ll only be stressing yourself by wanting them to understand you from your point of view. So, lessen your stress about changing them because the simple truth is, you can’t!!!
Perhaps they’re giving you orders on how you should live and behave, ( means you’re constantly under pressure to do or say the “right” things) atleast in their eyes, it would be better. It’s like walking on eggshells- being afraid to do the next ‘wrong’ thing. (Sigh)
Please realize that their decisions and views about you shouldn’t determine how you should feel about yourself. It is sooo hard to feel good about yourself around them (Self-esteem= 0). Even when you manage to do so, it is usually short-lived.
They make you believe you are the person they’re making you out to be. YOU ARE NOT!! That is emotional abuse!
If you’re in a working relationship with this kind of people, try to keep your distance and be prepared to take verbal abuses. If you can put up with that, you’re good. Otherwise, you will never grow in that company. The best bet, change job.
If in a personal relationship, seek professional counseling and embark on the best project you’ll ever work on. YOU!!