From childhood to early adulthood, it’s been the duty of our parents, guardians, aunts/uncles, or elder siblings to take care of us. They wake us up to have our bath, perhaps feed and prepare us for school and also take care of our every essential need. They take the major decisions in our lives because we’re minors and incapable of making those decisions ourselves, or our welfare is totally dependent on them.
However, at some point in life, your happiness and sustainability will largely depend on you. Everyone isn’t always going to be there to make decisions for you or do those tasks. If we can learn to take control of our own life, then we can typically survive and function better in the society. It is really important to stay connected to family & friends or significant others, but it feels confident that you can do certain things on your own.
Absolute self-dependence is relatively impossible since man lives in a complex society where cooperation and mutual benefit is the rule but there’s definitely a big space for self-reliance. The habit of thinking others will always do things for you is harmful as it breeds disappointments, hopelessness and helplessness especially in critical moments of life. And in that process, we loose our self–confidence and energy and limit ourselves to the help we can get from others.
Self–reliance teaches fortitude, perseverance, Strength, brevity and Experience needed to survive and succeed in life. Part of being grown is having a self–reliant mentality. You assume responsibility, you no longer wait to be bathed, fed and prepared for the day, you perhaps rely on your alarm clock and use your calendar for schedules and appointments. You get things done and make your decisions yourself, accepting the consequences( good or bad) without blaming anyone. Being responsible for yourself can be tedious, frustrating and time-consuming but it is totally satisfying and empowering.
To make good decisions, we need to be well informed. Research and learn, ask questions where necessary ( but you need to decide yourself). Knowledge is power! No wonder employers send their staff for trainings and seminars in order to improve their capacity for a job. Being aware of your responsibilities help you better take care of them. By being properly informed, you can manage your feelings and emotions better, and know what and how to do your tasks.
Self–reliance means one has a sense of direction. It means you have your goals clearly in mind and that you know where you’re going. That you don’t do things merely because others think you should nor totally depend on others to validate your decisions. You can seek advice or counsel in relation to your goals but you’re going all out with your blueprint to achieve them.
While you’re younger, ( perhaps helpless), you let life happen to you. But with a grown and self -reliant mentality, you know you don’t live your life to chance. You understand that you have to be proactive in solving your problems. Even in a relationship, having a part in both daily and long-term decisions can give you a better control of your life. Where two people have a shared responsibility, it is only fair that the individuals involved meet their individual responsibilities fairly.
We learn that by having courage and convictions, we can strive in life and utilize our principles to forge ahead perhaps with God on our side.
Even though self–reliance can build one’s confidence and give you peace, never be afraid to ask for help especially in life-threatening situations.
Self–reliance will make you appreciate others more and become more self–aware (Man, know thyself! ~ Socrates) while also building a resilient mind.
Have you other ways to think about self-reliance? Have you learnt a thing or two by this post? Please contribute and share with others.
“Nothing can bring you peace but yourself”