Entertainment, Family, Lifestyle

On Feminism…How much is too far?

Hey guys,

So yesternight just as I was checking social media for happenings across the globe, I came across an interesting piece on feminism. Some of the things I didn’t quite agree with.

I did a piece on that and gender equality sometime ago here>>Pros & Cons of Gender Equality. You can also share your thoughts.

Back to our discussion, I think some of the points I read were a bit too far, I’m going to share my take on some and I’ll like to know your thoughts too. The said piece was written by a famous US-based Nigerian author on feminism and feminism seems to be the most talked about subject on social media nowadays. I love and respect Chimamanda Adichie so much and she’s an amazing writer. Whatever ideology she has about feminism, with her position and influence, a lot of people will buy into it without scrutiny or questions especially we the millennials. But I have some reservations on some, which I want to share.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m an advocate for equal pay, mutual respect, etc. But when militant feministic ideologies is being practiced in relationships, it can be worrisome. Let me share some bits of what I read from the author which really didn’t sit well with me.


Here they are…

On gender roles/cooking: I’m so traditional on this. I mean, every woman should be glad to cook and feed her family regardless and shouldn’t see it as a burden. That doesn’t mean the men are totally excluded from cooking but it shouldn’t be a matter of debate. Are we switching gender roles here or are we saying that the man should be as responsible for cooking as should the woman? In as much as the man should cook as need be, as a woman, I grew up in a traditional setting to know that it is joyful to prepare family meals and feed your  family. It’s almost like a responsibility. You can imagine my joy during meal times when I lit up members of my family’s faces with meals prepared by me. Do I need to listen to someone who thinks otherwise? No I don’t think so! In this case I refuse to be a ‘modern‘ girl. I however, must vehemently state that this shouldn’t be a pre-requisite to define who a woman is, or what a woman should be.

On changing your last name when you get married: So someone argues that if the man cannot change his last name to the woman’s, why should the woman? Really? Okay I get the bias… As a lady, when you go through school bearing your father’s name, perhaps have gained fame with it in your career or maybe created your brand with it, letting go of that ‘famous‘ name might be hard. Then you decide to keep it. It’s your choice. The point I don’t understand is, making people who would like to or chose to take their husband’s last name  feel like it’s an offense.  No one should dictate what name anyone should bear by projecting ideologies which to me are anti-feministic. I think its only normal to bear your husband’s last name whether fame or not except otherwise it’s a choice between you and your husband.

On who’s the head of the home/submission: I do not accept the rebellious idea of rivalry which basically I think denying the leadership role of the man in the home is. The man is the shepherd and the woman is to be supportive and submissive. Not in responding to his every wish and command or the man lording over her according to his personal desires, but as is commanded by God. ( 1Pet3:1a).

Submission doesn’t mean you give up your brain and take on the man’s own or live in fear. Or to the man that you lord over her like a child or a slave,( This is where terror & rebel emanates when you misuse your position and are bent on doing your will). Submission is mutual. The man loves the woman, bears her burdens, carry her cares, meet her needs, etc. And the woman does the same.

For the men who harass innocent women, forcing their will on them, stop it! That’s slavery not submission. If you cannot love her like the Bible instructed, why are you forcing submission? Don’t skip your part, play it!

There seems to be to me, a lot of misguided thoughts on feminism which I think is taking its toll on the society. Sometimes I choose not to voice my opinion but I mean…

Its not a battle of the sexes. It’s not a competition. Men and women are meant to complement each other and no matter what anyone says, we really do need each other.

In the actual sense, we are all created unique. Your values and another person’s values might not be the same and no one should make any one feel uneasy about their choices be it anyone. While  some people have chosen to be celibate for life and have gone ahead to become Reverend sisters or Fathers, have you?

Some people still value SOME of the traditional principles of our fore-fathers in regards to male/female relationships.  God made orderliness in all areas of human activity. Government, family, school, even in the church. He is a principled God and I think we should follow His principles and guidelines.

On feminism, how much is really too far?


7 thoughts on “On Feminism…How much is too far?”

  1. hI Jessy
    Glad you are back to good health my dear

    I agree with you totally on the points you raised on bearing the man’s name and who is the head of the family.
    It’s also the woman’s responsibility to cook and take care of the family. If she sees it as a burden, then she can talk with her partner to find ways to reduce the burden.

    I am not in support of being totally equal to a man but I believe that equal opportunities in life (work, school, politics) should be given to all (men and women) without discrimination because of the person’s gender.

    Equality in these points you mentioned is going too far to me.
    It’s great you gave your opinion on this. It’s hard to disagree with someone we really admire but it happens even with our best friends right?

    Nice post girl!

    Check out myNew post


    1. Hey NG, really it’s a person’s choice whether or not to bear her husband’s name. I don’t tink it should be viewed with side eye. Also, In as much as a woman should be able to take care of the home which includes to cook, the man can partake where need be. I think things should be done with mutual understanding. Some views are kinda extreme. Thanks for your contribution, and I’ll check it up now.


    1. The Nigerian culture and Africa at large is patriarchal. It’s usually the ‘man’s world’ & it’s soo bad bcos some cultures are so inhumane especially towards girls and widows. The gender equality bill seeks to eradicate this which is very positive. However, I tink there are some basics which shouldn’t even be debated. theres no denying the fact that there’s difference between a man and a woman. I don’t tink we should begin to feel a certain way about men perhaps. But everyone is unique and so is our views.
      Thanks somuch Tessa, I appreciate your contribution.


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